


Between Silences

by mostlycloudy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Mentioned Michimiya Yui, Minor Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Misunderstandings, Morning After, Nishinoya Yuu & Tanaka Ryuunosuke are Bros, No Smut, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Sawamura Daichi/Michimiya Yui
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29507145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlycloudy/pseuds/mostlycloudy
Summary: This was enough.It had to be enough.There are always things that go unspoken in relationships. No matter how close you are with someone, there are things left unsaid. Suga never knew just how much he never said until he lay awake watching the steady rise and fall of Daichi’s chest as he slept soundly beside him, unaware to the maelstrom of feeling within Suga's chest.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Between Silences

**Author's Note:**

> *taps mic* Is this thing still on? I haven't written anything fandom related in y e a r s as my account shows. University killed my creative spirit for a while, but I'm back! Cant promise how quick I'll be in updates but this story has been living in my head for while and I'm finally getting it out. Hope you enjoy! Feedback is welcome.

There are always things that go unspoken in relationships. No matter how close you are with someone, there are things left unsaid. Suga never knew just how much he never said until he lay awake watching the steady rise and fall of Daichi’s chest as he slept soundly beside him, unaware of the maelstrom of feeling within Suga's chest.  
Suga let his sleepy gaze carefully trace the contours of Daichi’s sleep-slack face. No matter how much Suga loved Daichi, he was a comical sleeper. There wasn’t anything elegant about the dried drool against his chin or the loud snores rolling out of his gaping mouth. The fondness curling in Suga's belly didn’t care about elegance. He didn’t care about the sour scent of sake permeating the room or the soreness enveloping his body.

This was enough.

It had to be enough.

Things left unspoken protected Daichi from the depth of Suga’s feelings. Because what’s a little sake induced sex between friends? Suga wasn’t an idiot; he knew he was playing a dangerous game. He just never slipped up this hard before. Suga was well aware for years that Daichi was physically and sexually attracted to him. Daichi and Suga stayed late frequently throughout high school to “go over plays” as they told the team but never once looked at Coach’s notes. But things changed – well Daichi changed. Michimiya entered his life with a stunning vibrancy that Suga could not – would not – compete with. He stood aside and prepared to watch the inevitable of Daichi becoming the salaryman, Daichi the loving husband and Daichi the doting father. 

Suga would remain as he always did. He was there when Daichi picked out an outfit for his first date with Michimiya, was there to help him buy flowers for her birthday, and to help Daichi move into his new apartment with her. Even if it hurt to pick that shirt, to compare those bouquets, and to pack those boxes, he loved Daichi. Through it all, that unchanging and unspoken confession remained. Silent and lingering. He felt guilty through it all, there was no way he couldn’t. 

Asahi called him a masochist. Tanaka begged him to confess. Noya simply sat with him in silence.

The silences were the hardest part. It made all of his feelings bubble to the surface, stinging his eyes and weighing down on his chest. He thought the silence of their apartment when Daichi moved out would have killed him.

But he was back, not just in his apartment but in his bed. He was there when Daichi called him, voice rough and strained after Michimiya came to collect her final belongings. It was unanimous and civil but it didn’t change the hurt he heard in Daichi's voice. So Suga did what any good friend would do when their best friend gets dumped and is heartbroken: poured the strongest alcohol and listened. He didn’t account for him to end up in Daichi's lap, chasing the taste of sake on his tongue. Suga doesn’t know who moved first and honestly whether that even mattered at this point. They still ended up tumbling into his bed, gasping into each others mouths and pulling off their clothes.

Suga glanced at the clock over Daichi’s shoulder. 5:04am. He would have to get up soon to be bright eyed and ready to take on a hoard of 7 year old's outfitted with glitter, glue, and hyperactivity. Even a full nights sleep and pumped full of caffeine didn’t change how outnumbered he was to those rambunctious kids.

Taking a deep breath Suga burrowed further into the blankets and carefully rolled away from Daichi’s sleeping form and closed his eyes. In the morning Daichi would be gone and he would have to go on like he did before, between the silences and between things unspoken.

Something was rocking him back and forth gently. Suga slowly cracked his eyes open, his senses slowly coming back online. The sunlight pouring into his room was glinting off of the bottles on his nightstand and he could feel a firm hand on his shoulder. Looking up Daichi stood over him, shaking his shoulder gently.

“Suga… Suga, you need to get up.” Daichi said softly, expression carefully neutral. He was already dressed in his clothes from the night before.

Suga blinked up at him and glanced over his shoulder to see what time the clock read. 

Holy shit he was late.

Sitting upright like a shot, Suga pushed the covers off of his body and scrambled out of bed, unfazed by his nudity. It wasn’t anything Daichi hadn't seen before. He raced to his closet and pulled out a pair of pants and the pre ironed shirt that was hanging carefully from the hanger. He was aware of Daichi standing behind him but couldn’t spare the time to think about the awkward air permeating the room. He was barely conscious enough to button his shirt let alone acknowledge the hickey he knew was on Daichi’s neck. 

Pulling his legs through his slacks, Suga shoved his arms through the button up and turned around to face Daichi. Daichi stood in front of him, hands shoved into his front pockets.

Suga swallowed the thickness in his throat and said “I… I cant talk right now I’m already late as it is. You can stay as long as you like, I know you don’t have work today. Help yourself to whatever.”

Without giving Daichi a chance to respond, Suga scooped his phone off of the dresser and made a beeline for his bedroom door that led into the hallway of his apartment.

“Hey… Hey, Suga, wait!” Daichi called after him, following him to the front door. Suga really didn’t want to have this conversation on 2 hours of sleep, less then 12 hours after screwing his best friend after 6 years of barely touching. Especially when he was already late.

Daichi stood above Suga as he crouched down to slip on his shoes and grab the leather satchel leaning against the wall. Biting his lip, Suga flicked his eyes up Daichi and caught the conflicted and desperate expression clouding his face. Well that made two of us, Suga thought with a trace of bitterness.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Suga met Daichi’s eyes and said, “We don’t need to talk about what happened last night. I shouldn’t have -” Suga broke off with a frustrated sigh and squeezed his eyes. He wasn’t prepared to have a conversation that was clearly necessary if the tension in the stale air was an indicator. He flicked his eyes up to Daichi who looked desperate if not at a loss for words himself. 

Suga offered Daichi a tight smile and forced out a “We can talk later. I promise. But I really do need to go.” Daichi mutely nodded and Suga willed his hands to not shake as he turned around to turn the handle of his door open. He was running away and maybe that made him a coward but if they could go 6 years without talking about Suga's feelings, they could go a bit longer. Right? 

Suga closed the door gently but firmly behind him, nodded once and set out towards the stairs. 

Right. 

****************************************

Daichi watched Suga turn away from him, his enter body wrought with tension and ready to flee. In the 10 years of their friendship he had never seen Suga look so uncomfortable in his presence - because of his presence. Daichi expected awkward laughs, shuffling of feet and maybe a slap on the back but not the plain guilt and hurt that Suga had attempted to hide. 

The door closed with a gentle click but Daichi remained rooted in place as if Suga hadn’t just left. The bright sun streaming in from Suga's windows was aggravating the throbbing headache he had since waking up, but it was nothing compared to the wave of emotions swirling in his mind. How could he be expected to sort through the sheer volume and intensity of his thoughts when the very person he would go to couldn't even look him in the eye. 

Does he regret what happened last night? Did I hurt him? Oh God - 

Daichi slapped his palms on his cheeks to halt the spiral of his thoughts and shook his head. He wouldn't get anywhere until he spoke to Suga and muttering over what if’s wouldn't do him any good. 

Massaging his temples, Daichi turned around in search of the pain relievers he knew Suga kept in the apartment. Before he could even make his way to the bathroom, the living room caught his eye. 

The small coffee table was littered with multiple sake bottles that made his stomach clench unpleasantly at the memory of the night before. Daichi never forgot a night of drinking, no matter how much alcohol he had. “Gifted and cursed”, Tanaka would tell him. Last night being no exception, Daichi stared at the coffee table as the night filtered back to him. 

He called Suga after Michimiya left, not quite crying but on the edge of it. Suga took it in stride and had preemptively bought enough sake to drown his sorrows in and then some. Daichi, feeling hollow, made his way to Sugas apartment who welcomed him with a brief but much needed hug. If Daichi hung on too long they didn’t acknowledge it. Their first of many acknowledgements of the night, he mused. 

With each cup thrown back, Daichi felt lighter. Suga was pulling him from his pit of self pity and heart break showing him pictures of Tanaka and Noya’s mischief over the weekend. Tanaka had taken it upon himself to dye the blond fringe of Noya’s hair electric blue. Ashai was out of the country to meet with the designers of his new sportswear line, leaving one Noya unoccupied and one Tanaka unsupervised. A recipe for disaster and a newly blue Noya. 

Suga had shot soda out of his nose from laughing so hard and flopped over into Daichi’s lap, loose limbed and relaxed from the sake. Daichi remembered the light flush to his skin, the laughter that danced in his eyes and made his eyes crinkle. Pretty… he thought. Suga caught on to the intensity of Daichi’s stare and his laughter died off. Daichi just couldn't stop staring at him. He was the same but different from the boy he had met in high school. The feeling settling in his chest was familiar but still made his heart race. Too caught up in the warmth of Suga lying in his lap to give that feeling a thought, he bent down to touch his lips to Suga’s. 

Daichi tipped his head towards the ceiling and released the breath he had been holding through his nose. While everything before and after was more hazy, this moment was crystal clear. He couldn't comprehend what he was feeling in his chest. He just got out of a 6 year relationship and the ring was still sitting in a box in his apartment for God’s sake.

Yet, he couldn't help but hold onto the pure warmth and content that he felt kissing Suga. 

I just need to talk to Suga, he thought. Daichi let his gaze drop back down to the table and started to collect the empty bottles and chip bags laying haphazardly on the wood. Suga told him he could stay as long as he wanted, but leaving a mess and cornering him in his own home? Daichi had better sense and respect than to do that. Throwing everything into the small convenience store bag that lay at the edge of the couch, he made his way to the bathroom to snag two pain relievers. He made his way back to the living room, sparing one final glance at the table where he could still see the image of them kissing in his mind. He closed his hand around the doorknob and walked out of the apartment trying to ignore the foreboding weight growing in his stomach.


End file.
